Challenge negatives and think of positives...

This is to be an on going blog based on one of the basic principles I want to be able to live my life by. I think to a certain extent we can choose how happy or sad we feel. Taking something that happens to us and looking at it in different ways can completely change our feelings. As a person who over evaluates every situation for hours I have found this to be true. A simple thing said to me can make me feel so many different things. I also over evaluate things I say to others - something said as a joke, a spur of the moment statement can haunt me for hours replaying over and over in my head. Sometimes it can go as far as make me want to cry, then suddenly I want to laugh. Every action has a reaction (wow Newton) but what this reaction is can be different and change a lot over time. I think over things that have happened, whole conversations days after they occur. Often I think of things I should have said to make the situation better, make me seem like a better person. But the fact is, you can't go back and change conversations; missed opportunities stay missed. You can live in the past and worry about what was done/said (I do this wayyyy too much!) or as I am trying to do, you can look forward. Yes you may have had a fail of a conversation with someone but if you want to you have the power to talk to them again, have a joke, have a laugh and fix what was may have been lost.

Today's negatives changed to positives:

Not going out with my whole flat last night left me feeling like I missed jokes and fun memories. BUT I did have a great night catching up with my best friend (this was in much need of doing), I wasn't tired with a hangover this morning and talking to people in the kitchen I found out all the good stories so could joke and be part of their night.

People I like to hang out with at the weekend have all gone home - BUT this did mean I had a great chance to walk into the city (45 min walk so no one would have wanted to do it with me), window shop and find my way around the back streets exploring (only really works on own) and enjoyed myself with my music in my ears (although it did leave me with a lot of thinking time so the amount of conversations I replayed in my head weren't too good!)

I cooked way to much for dinner (ok not a big issue!) - NOW I have lunch for tomorrow too!!! :O

I didn't understand my coursework so instead of fretting I took initiative and emailed my lecturer, she realised that a lot of people would be having the same problem and emailed everyone on the course, now I feel I have helped others out.

...

to be continued

Clubbing

First off, as a non-nocturnal animal who likes to sleep when its dark and wake up to see the morning, the idea of heading out into the night at 10/11pm is crazy. This is probably too early for most people too so when, as last night, we arrived at the club at 10:30 there were literally no one on the dance floor (we used this as an embarrassing but fun lets dance crazily while we have space) and 3 people propping up the bar looking shady in the corner! People begin to turn up in various stages of drunk; you have the guys who turn very homosexual with their mates, the guys who think its funny to dance in the middle of your group and randomly touch your friends, girls who fall on the floor, girls who seem not to care when they are exposing themselves and the random strangers who are practically having sex in the middle of the floor. Also, what do these girls think they are doing wearing the sluttiest, I was going to say dresses but lets face it they are tops, tops and their highest heels. Ok, I admit it I have twice worn just a top clubbing, but it was a longish top and I had leggings on so that doesn’t count!

The dancing and singing your head off is fun when you are not thinking about it and not acknowledging your surroundings but pretty soon you notice the guys all around and feel like you should dance to show off to them. So you dance around doing the most peculiar moves and desperately try to attract the attention of random strangers whom at any other time on any other day you would not want anything to do with. If none of these guys (who realistically you want nothing to do with) approach you, dance with you or even look at you in some cases you are left feeling worthless, ugly and unwanted – yes I know this is ridiculous as I previously stated these guys are disgusting anyway, but if a disgusting, drunk guy doesn’t want you… who would???

Taken at Project - Norwich. Greg James DJ-ing
(Propoganda October 2011)

As the night progresses everyone gets more and more drunk, fights break out, it gets scary. I also feel that there is always an anti-climax to evenings out. You spend a while getting dressed up and ready with your friends and a few pre-drinks (‘prinks’) which in my opinion is the best part of the night then you have the journey to wherever you are going, here you can have nice conversations and fun times before someone gets off their face. In the clubs you can’t have a conversation, people pour drinks on you all the time (well that was worth me straightening my hair!!!) and your feet start to seriously hurt! At some point you decide to go home, there will be a reason for this: a) people (yourself or others) are too drunk/tired, b) the club is dead (everyone seems to have given up) or c) (as happened last night) someone pours a drink all over your friend, she gets really angry, starts swearing and saying she’s going to leave (and you can’t let her walk home alone). I started ‘composing’ this rant on the way home last night as I walked the 15 minute walk home yesterday (this morning) without shoes on, freezing cold and trying desperately to catch up with my friends who are walking very fast, one because she is angry and the other because if she stops apparently she wont start again. My feet were in agony (from my heels and the cold) and I just wanted to sit on the floor but I had to keep going. An evening of fun in my opinion shouldn’t end like this. This wasn’t a bad ending to a night out by far but it got me thinking. I don’t think I am a clubber!!!